Dude! Hire a Doula!
This is pretty much my strongest recommendation in my whole book. No “maybe think about…”, no “you should consider…,” no “be open to…”. Simply put, just do it. Trust me on this one.
But wait, what’s a Doula, and why should I hire one? First things first, a Doula is a trained birth professional who is an expert in all the non-medical aspects of pregnancy and childbirth. They are experienced in childbirth education, physical comfort measures, emotional support, and many other things that can make the birthing experience easier for everybody. They are a combination of your wingman from heaven and Mama’s super awesome best friend. In a word, they are simply amazing.
Why should you hire one? Let’s zoom out for a minute and think about the upcoming labor and delivery of Baby. How much do you know about what is within the very large range of “normal”? What do you know about the various options you are going to be confronted with regarding delivery and comfort measures? What questions to ask your delivery team? Which “standard procedures” are actually options you can decline or delay? How to talk to Mama when she is pushing and maybe screaming very loud, or even screaming at you?
A Doula is an expert at ALL of these things. And you are not. Why take on all these unrealistic expectations that the culture is throwing at you all by yourself? Having a Doula there by your side guiding you (and Mama) through the process all the way til Baby is snuggling in your arms is invaluable!
Finally, having a Doula on your team frees you up to do the most important job of all – to focus on being that awesomely “helpful and supportive” birth partner for Mama. You are the unquestioned primary support person for her, and having a Doula to “watch the room” and guide your efforts in supporting Mama as Baby comes into the world is worth every penny. Your Doula is probably the most important part of your birth team, and their presence in the room allows you to put 100% of your attention on Mama, and your new job as Dad too!
So one more time – Dude! Hire a Doula!
